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betray the light

[10 Mar 2007|08:24pm]
decisions, decisions.

betray the light

[06 Mar 2007|01:05am]
woot, heineken minikegs. yeah, i don't wreally know what to write.

yeah, i should've known by the tramp stamp.


betray the light

[03 Jan 2007|03:50am]
[ mood | morose ]

Web 2.0! Web 2.0! Web 2.0! It's impossible to turn on the television or pick up any form of media and attempt to stare at it for longer than 20 seconds without seeing the phrase "Web 2.0" stamped across it in Impact font (bevel and drop shadow optional). The news stations love obsessing over Web 2.0 because it's yet another vague concept that defies conventional explanation and therefore makes their readers think they're smart when they hear about it. People like hearing about things that they just slightly understand, because it makes them feel smarter than their neighbors when they bring it up. "Hey Bob, did you see the new Toyota I bought?" they'll ask their neighbor, who is hopefully named "Bob." If he's not named "Bob," then this scenario probably won't work the way I expect it. If there's no neighbor at all, then things get considerably worse. "This new Toyota I bought, it has Web 2.0 installed in it! Look, when I get a call from grandma on my Bluetooth enabled cell phone, THE CAR BATTERY AND BRAKES DIE. THAT IS Web 2.0."

So what the hell is Web 2.0 anyway? I think it might be AJAX, which is a programming language that enables garbage to fly all over your monitor when you least expect it. Or perhaps it's Wikipedia, a website the result of obsessive-compulsive disorders and Transformers erotic fan fiction. Oh, better yet, perhaps it's the Intel Core Duo Extreme CPU, the only chip Gabe Newell trusts to do his laundry and take his children to school in the patented Valve Log Flume. Who knows what the hell Web 2.0 is! Nobody can tell me! It's impossible to explain it! It's like Web 1.0... BUT SOMEHOW MAGICALLY DIFFERENT. Like if my mother was to walk into my house wearing a moustache and tiny fez, that would be Mother 2.0. Web 2.0 is just like that except the moustache is animated.

I wouldn't really be so up in arms over Web 2.0 if it wasn't for the idiotic, pseudo-intellectual news sources like Wired Magazine and News.com splooging all over the concept of Web 2.0 while trying to shove a trash dumpster full of hip new jargon slang down our collective throats. Wired Magazine stopped discussing actual relevant issues sometime in the mid-1990s, abandoning them for an obsession over alternative energy sources which will never exist in any form of reality. Now the editors just have contests to see which department can copy and paste the flashiest Web-related bullshit as many times as they can without their magazine imploding into a dimension of uselessness. The typical Wired issue these days can be broken down into the following sections:

1 - Pointless and ultimately empty articles about crowdsourcing, podcasting, blogging, technospotting, rimjobbing, eHuffing, seedcasting, cowcasting, sowcasting, snowcelling, cyberwebosphering, goatasting, or whatever stupid word-of-the-month they're running in circles around.

2 - Vapid self-promoting pats on the back congratulating themselves on correctly predicting a bold new trend in technology. Woah, what's that Wired Magazine? You mean you're telling me you predicted robots would some day count and dispense pharmaceuticals of the future? And you made this impressive divination all the way back in the year 2005? Gee golly is your magazine written by time-traveling spacemen of the future or perhaps Jesus Christ himself? Jesus Christ the time-traveling spaceman of the future, that is, not Jesus Christ the Son of God. I read that issue of Wired which stated Jesus didn't exist, because the Bible crowdsourced their podcast to the blogosphere via Ruby on Rails to Ezekiel 2.0.

3 - Subtle references to famous memes of the past. What's that? All your base are belong to you? Wired, you've struck comedy gold once again! Now please take a moment to tell me about the hottest website on Web 0.9, "Hello My Future Girlfriend!" I hear that kid's a real hoot! Maybe Wired can produce a spinoff magazine completely dedicated to garbage 4chan threw out years ago. It could be called "DON'T READ THIS STUPID MAGAZINE UNLESS YOU'RE AN IDIOT... DOT COM."

4 - One sentence reviews of things nobody will ever buy under any circumstances. Oh this USB coffee maker can produce 238 quarts of espresso every 12 hours? You guys are recommending a portable mule filtration system capable of instant messaging me every seven seconds? Gosh, and here I was afraid my Intelligent Wireless Natural iGravyBoat Pro was considered "tired!"

5 - Ads for 1and1hosting or whatever that stupid company is which buys 10-page blocks of advertisements displaying stock footage of white people enjoying computers a bit too much.

Every issue of Wired pounds metric tons of memes, catchphrases, and worthless buzzwords down our throats, all seemingly revolving around the mythical Web 2.0, yet nobody on the face of the Earth has any idea what Web 2.0 is. I just went to the dentist and had white cavity fillings instead of the traditional silver, is that Web 2.0? My wife yelled at me and told me to help out around the house more and I told her to "go to hell" instead of traditionally slapping her, is that Web 2.0? My cat just threw up a wad of undigested cat food and my dog proceeded to eat it, is that Web 2.0? Who knows! That is the magic of buzzwordology, a practice allowing the news media to build artificial hype around an artificial concept designed by them, for them, with the goal of making them more money.

We're entrenched in a culture obsessed with style over substance. You might argue this is nothing new, but as our economy shifts further from concrete products to this virtual world of bullshit on the Web, the distinction between style and substance begins to widen and more clueless victims tumble into the bottomless void. We're being sold on concepts manufactured by news advertising agencies, groups of people who aren't even sure what they're creating. In our world, the emperor not only has no robe, but his naked ass is called "clothing 2.0."

In the interest of the general public, I'm going to take it upon myself to finally answer the question, "what is Web 2.0?" I'm going to lay this issue down once and for all. From this point on, "Web 2.0" will not exist as simply a mysterious concept; I will define it as concretely as possible.

Web 2.0 FAQ

Question: What is Web 2.0?
Answer: Web 2.0 is a combination of Web 1.0 and being punched in the dick.

Question: How do I know I'm using a website / service / product that is officially "Web 2.0" and not actually "Web 1.0" with various patches and enhancements added to it?
Answer: Web 2.0 is made obvious by the addition of completely and highly unnecessary bells and whistles that don't do anything besides annoy you and make life more complicated. If Web 1.0 was the equivalent of reading a book, Web 2.0 is reading a book while all the words are flying around and changing pages as the book rotates randomly and sets your hands on fire. Also there's this parrot that keeps on flying towards your head in repeated attempts to gouge out your eyes.

Question: I read about this one website in Wired Magazine. Is that Web 2.0??
Answer: Oh definitely. Wired won't even mention Web 1.0 sites. Every single site in their magazine is at least Web 2.0. Sometimes they're even up to Web 45.2 (such as www.ebutts-and-credit-reports-delivered-via-carrier-pidgeon.com)!

Question: My roommate said he "digged" a "wikipedia entry" about "the blogosphere" which mentioned "podcasting" as a viable form of "crowdsourcing."
Answer: Your roommate is a faggot. Also, this wasn't technically a question.

Question: What's Web 3.0?
Answer: It's a product or service planned on release in spring of 2008, and consists solely of websites enabling the user to create even more detailed Kirby ASCII art. (O'.')-o

betray the light

[17 Aug 2006|01:44am]
[ mood | tired ]

holy shit its fucking LIVEJOURNAL

betray the light

[27 Apr 2006|12:48pm]
long time no post.

I wrote this rant on a message board, and it really explains why I quit NA. I decided I'd post it to my blog.

This is one of the main reasons why I quit the program in the first place. Originally AA's (which NA's principles are based on) founders were religious, not quite Christian though, they believed more in the spiritual side of things. Of course, in the Christian society that we live in, this is interpreted as a belief in 'God.' It's slowly been warped throughout the many years into the basis that 'God' is that higher power. What I see, now that I look back at it, is normal non-believing addicts being taken advantage of during a weak portion of their lives. These addicts have nowhere else to look, other than the program of Narcotics Anonymous which is by far, the most well-known and respected recovery program. They're taken advantage of and have their minds warped into believing in 'God.'

For a while, I considered myself agnostic due to these techniques, and the fact that EVERYBODY in ALL of my meetings thanked 'God' for their recovery. Mind you, I was atheist before I even started using, so it certainly wasn't the drugs that made me an atheist. After a while, I realized this whole 'higher power' sham was merely a metaphor for 'God'. Because really, think about it, what else besides a religion would you find a higher power in? You could say material possessions or fictional characters or something as equally absurd, but that's just retarded. You can't put actual faith for your recovery into something like that. It all boils down to whether you accept Jesus in your life, or you don't. And if you don't accept Jesus into your life, you're going to use again. No hope whatsoever for those who don't accept the fact they are FORCIBLY made to believe in a 'higher power' aka 'God.' I realized this at about 6 months in, and ultimately gave up the NA program, which centers around the belief in religion.

I am currently a year and 2 months clean, going strong. I feel extremely motivated ever since I quit going to meetings, I quit smoking cigarettes, started jogging and lifting weights. I feel great, all due to the fact that I chose to stand up for what I believe in. Will you?

5 betray the light

[08 May 2005|03:30pm]
[ mood | content ]

Well.. i'm back. i got out about a week and a half ago. what a strange experience that was. at first i didnt want to be there but i slowly got used to things, remembering that i needed help.. i had 3 roommates, each 20 years older than i.. had to sleep on the top bunk. it was basically like prison there.. its where all the ex-county people and the Prop36-ers go. But as time went on i got used to it. I saw people come and go due to stupid shit, etc.. most of all, i learned so much there and i think i've grown as a person too.. possibly went from the mentality of a boy to a man.. heh. i actually dont know how to explain it. i just know i've definitely matured as a person. and its great knowing i survived Tarzana Treatment Center.. hahaha.
it also feels really great to be back.. i feel the love from everybody, and i just wanted to thank everybody for being cool to me. all you guys fuckin rock.
so i've been sober for 2 months and 5 days now. its a trip being sober, i never thought it could be so good. right now i'm high on life. hahaha, i never thought i'd say that corny ass shit. i dont even blaze anymore.. i dont even feel the urge to. sometimes i feel the urge to smoke shit, but i always remind myself of where it leads me to - sheisty shit (haha). life is so much better now that i'm sober - me and amanda's relationship is a thousand times better, i cant actually think clearly and accomplish things - right now i'm working on a car and a job. rehab fucking fixed my life.. haha.

eh, i can't think of much else to write.

9 betray the light

[09 Mar 2005|10:22am]
[ mood | distressed ]

well. i think this is it. i'm not going to be seeing or talking to everybody for a while probably because of recent events. i'd rather not go into details but i'd rather sum it up to the fact that crystal meth is the most horrible drug in the fucking world and will ruin your life.. to those using i suggest you quit now because it will lead to your downfall as it has done to me. i've spent multiple days in the hostpital, and i'm going away to a home for a good 6-12 months because of it.. dont let this happen to you

i'd like to thank those who have supported me to quit recently.. i shouldnt have been so blind as to what it couldve let me to.

i'd like to apologize to all those i've done to hurt (you know who you are).. my stupid actions were mindless and conceited.

i'd like to give a special 'fuck you' to all those that have contributed to my usage. you've led me to this point and i'm glad to be away because i know you dont give a fuck about me.

i love you, amanda.. i shouldn't have been so blind. you're the only person that's truly cared about me and i'm sorry things have had to end up this way. you'll always hold a special place in my heart.. i love you more than life itself

bye everybody. hopefully i'll see you all in a while. hopefully

1 betray the light

[13 Feb 2005|04:49am]
[ mood | blah ]

Perfect little dream the kind that hurts the most
Forgot how it feels well almost
No one to blame always the same
Open my eyes wake up in flames

It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me realize
It took you to make me see the light

Smashed up my sanity
Smashed up my integrity
Smashed up what I believed in
Smashed up what's left of me
Smashed up my everything
Smashed up all that was true
Gonna smash myself to pieces
I don't know what else to do

Covered in hope and Vaseline
Still cannot fix this broken machine
Watching the hole it used to be mine
Just watching it burn in my steady systematic decline
Of the trust I will betray
Give it to me I throw it away
After everything I've done I hate myself for what I've become

I tried
I gave up
Throw it away

i wish everything was as simple as it was when i was just a stupid kid. *sigh*

i <3 amanda.

2 betray the light

17 years [05 Jan 2005|05:56am]
Seen how you treat her
Don't wanna turn out like you
So well adjusted
You leave me feeling confused

I've wasted
The last seventeen years of my life
I'm not going back
But I'm not gonna run away
Not anymore

Under the carpet
You know the things that kids say
Cracks in the mirror
Words in a darkened hallway

4 betray the light

[02 Jan 2005|11:37pm]
[ mood | happy ]

things have been going really well recently.. it was amanda and i's 3-month anniversary and i got her a really nice ring and an MCR shirt for X-mas.. i got a DVD player and a tight stoner 'wake and bake' t-shirt. plenty of mad kush smokeouts too of course

i spent the night at amanda's on new years.. it was really cool. she made a fuckload of brownies and we grubbed and watched tv. i love amanda so much. last night i bought some ice cream from the cannibus club and grubbed on 'Ganja Dipped Oreos.' that shit was bomb - i killed a pint of that shit earlier with amanda. good times. holiday vacation is the shit

i love amanda.

2 betray the light

[17 Dec 2004|01:02pm]
thrash metal is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

8 betray the light

[13 Dec 2004|07:53pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

this weekend is going to kick ass. i started taking finals today and i end on thursday.. then we're out for vacation.. i have a feeling the next couple of weeks are gonna kick ass. i can't wait to do E with my girl this weekend too. i'm glad we're gonna be able to see each other a lot more often these next few weeks. granasty has been a pain in the ass but at least my senior year is halfway over.

3 betray the light

[07 Dec 2004|04:37pm]

Gesalbt vom Sakrament - der Ziege
Kotverzierter - gegei?elter Heiland
Der Chor des Stolzes - zelebriert
Das Evangelium - des Fleisches

Fukk - the blood - of christ
The sabbath - of the goat
Fukk - the blood - of christ
Hellsperm - das Heilwerk des Bockes

Die Verehrung - des Arsches
Der Ketzertanz - der Sodomiten
Tetelostali - es ist Vollbracht
Ertrankt in Flammen - der Aeon der Verfluchten

8 betray the light

[12 Nov 2004|02:11am]

i <3 amanda.

10 betray the light

[20 Oct 2004|01:55am]

[-friends only-]

betray the light

[19 Oct 2004|09:12pm]
First I'm gonna catch the bitch
Then I'm gonna beat the bitch
Then I'm gonna bury the bitch
Shouldn't of been talkin' shit
You knew who you was fuckin wit
Fuckin wit the fuckin best,
the stoners from the fuckin west
She who you fuckin been
Now I'm aimin' at your chest
This goes out to all of y'all
All of y'all be talkin' shit
Slip the clip up in the gun
Then commence to bust a bitch
Bust a cap, at ya dawg
Watchin' you niggas fall
Screamin' out like a bitch
Man that's just some petty shit
If you wanna keep some peace between us you better chill
Just because I dont talk shit
Doesnt mean I wont bust heads
So dont let nobody else
Tell me bout some shit you said hoe

The game aint the same, we done changed the game
Stay the fuck away from us, we dont fuck wit you ladies
The game aint the same, we done changed the game
Stay the fuck away from us, we dont fuck wit you ladies
(So I hit the dope, grab the glock, and the chrome, and the rocks)
(On yo block, in your fuckin face, hit this all off)

7 betray the light

[16 Sep 2004|12:32am]
I'll be hiding in the shadows
I'll be waiting in the dark
to drive this blade straight through your heart
I'll drag your body to the car
as blood races down my arm
I think everyone will wonder where you are, tonight

I'll hide you in my walls
your body will never be found
I'll wear your skin as a suit, pretend to be you
your friends will like you more than they used to

dear diary my teen angst bullshit has a body count
I believe it's 6 going on 7 now

I've been dreaming about you
in a pool of your own blood
with your eyes gouged out
by the work of my thumbs
the scent of your insides
from under the floorboards
the perfect perfume
to settle a score.

1 betray the light

[27 Jul 2004|01:39am]
[ mood | depressed ]

good eye sniper
i'll shoot you run
the words you scribbled on the walls
the loss of friends you didn't have
i'll call you when the time is right
are you in or are you out
for them all to know the end of us all

bye, bye beautiful
don't bother to write
disturbed by your words and they're calling all cars
face step let down, face step.. step down

4 betray the light

[08 Apr 2004|07:33pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

"In summary, religion is crazy. It's fear of death made to look important and "official" but it doesn't help you a bit except by wasting your time. You start using "belief" to figure out your life, with reason taking a secondary seat. You think in terms of places like heaven and hell and terms like good or evil. You spend time worrying about a supernatural being for which there's no precedent in natural patterning. It makes more sense to get into anal llama porn than to become religious in the Judeo-Christian tradition."

erblicket die tochter des firmanentes fucking brilliance.

i miss amanda.

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